shrugs.
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sitting, waiting, wishing.
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disclaimer: potential cheesy post bc life is a mess
When do you know it's over? When you're more in love with the memories than the person standing in front of you. 
As of this moment, I don't really have an idea of where this post is going, but imma write it anyway. I think this is kind of what I meant to address in the first place last night, but I guess it sort of slipped out of my mind.

I had a dream last night, a dream about you. I dreamt of the moments we shared in the past and all the happiness that you gave me. But the past is the past, and the present does not exactly fill me with glee. I thought perhaps with you I would find love, but I guess it won't happen anymore. You're very much a changed person now, pretty much a stranger to me. I thought I'd always be able to hang on and stay with you, but I guess not because now, you're just slipping out of my grasp. Like a little paper boat that has set sail on a stream, floating, drifting further and further away. But then again, I guess that's life. Nothing lasts forever, friends fall apart, people distance themselves from each other, people go from close friends to lovers to strangers. Nothing ever stays for long in this world. You were my sunshine in this abyss, but as I fall deeper and deeper down and you rise higher and higher into the sky, I know that I will, eventually, lose sight of you completely. It saddens me of course, but there's nothing we can do. I guess it's true that you can't really depend on people because eventually, when it all comes down to the final step, only you can make or break yourself.

Lately I feel like I've been sitting, waiting and wishing for things to happen. For people to text me back, for people to have some sort of response, anything. Perhaps its just the desperate child inside of me yearning for love. I must learn to detach myself from these emotions or they might very well control my life forever. After all, what does a 16-year old girl know about love anyway? I guess it's a common teenager problem. We pretend to know shit but actually we don't know anything and we're just fumbling around in the dark hoping that something good will happen to our lives. But heck with that. I admit that I don't know anything about life, I don't think anyone does really. We say our fate lies in our hands but you have to admit a big part of it also lies with society. And who am I to say explain societal whims? I'm just another confused teen, you get what I'm saying? Perhaps not.

Well anyway, since I'm currently trying to do Math as well as write this post, my train of thought is pretty broken up and fragmented so I'll just end this post here and do Math. Or rather, attempt to do Math because my Math is terrible. I might post again later because I realise that I'm getting rather bored of writing on paper in a journal and all I tend to write in my journals are depressing thoughts. Alright, see you. Bye!
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